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It is challenging to change something you have been doing for a length of time. As I have said before change is scary. Sometimes you have to let go though.

I gave seven years of my life to a company; however, things were changing and I did not agree with the direction it was going. My enjoyment for the job was dissipating. I was finding myself not wanting to get up for work. I was going into work with a certain irritability that I had to be there. I began having a lack of motivation, where I was once a high achiever. I just started dreading everything associated with my employment there.

So, I let it go! I began to realize that I cannot change them nor how they manage their company, the only thing I could do was change myself. I didn’t put in a two-week notice. I was already out for a month, so I just sent an email that I was done. I got back a generic message like we are sad to see you go; however, I knew that was not true. Management and I had been clashing for months. I felt like I was not appreciated for all of my dedication and commitment to the job.

So, I let go! After resigning I felt a sense of relief. Like a weight had been lifted off of me. Like the black cloud was gone and the sun was shining through. I closed a chapter in my life. Your identity should not be tied to a job. YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT than a job and so am I.

Change is inevitable. Sometimes change is scary. Other times change is gratifying. My life is changing and I am trying to adapt by applying the let them theory. Something I am reading about in “Let Them” by Mel Robbins.

With my mental health conditions change is challenging. I feel like I thrive better with consistency and knowing what is happening and why. Some may call this control, but I feel like it reduces my anxiety.

Recently my work environment has brought me great angst and made me question myself about rather or not I should remain in the counseling field. Now, I have been doing this for the last 13 years and I believe that I am passionate about those that battle addiction. I am sympathetic and understanding, as best as I can be.

I know that I need to make a change, but what is it? I can leave my job, go into a less emotionally taxing career but does that satisfy the purpose I feel I have? Am I making the right decision. I am not sure, but I have to make one.

There has been a lot of buzz online about a woman who calls herself a doctor, but have no proof that she is. So I ask should we call it fraud? Fraud is defined as wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain. By this definition alone I would say yes. She has had financial and personal gain from a title. However, is that where we draw the line?

Some may say that people not living in their truth are fraud. If you have a transgender person that passes themselves as a gender they aren’t would that be considered fraud? I believe the countless people that have been bamboozled would say yes, as some are benefiting financially and personally.

What about the spouse who is deceptive about their substance usage? Is this considered fraud? Again some would say yes and even though they may not be benefiting financially they sure are benefiting personally. We are living in a time where fraud is hard to detect. We see images of people, lifestyles, business ideas and quotes on social media and believe them to be truth, only to find out they are illusive or better yet they are generated using AI.

Accountability means the quality or state of being accountable; especially an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions. As I see things on social media and in the news I see many people lack accountability. Lack of accountability for what they do, what they say and how they behave. Working with people who battle substance use disorder I see lack of accountability daily. Some blame their parents, their childhood, their socioeconomic status, everything but themselves.

How did you start using drugs? Who exposed you to them? Why do you continue to use drugs even though you experience negative outcomes and consequences? Who do you think is responsible? YOU ARE! Not your parents, not your family, not your friends, not society, but YOU!

Yes drugs may have been offered to you. Yes your parents exposed you to drugs. Yes you lived in a drug infested community. Yes you got into a car accident and have pain. Yes you are/were living in poverty. Yes you are/were privileged…. no matter the circumstance YOU are responsible. Being able to be accountable and take responsibility for your decisions, choices and behaviors will change your life

That term has been spoken more and more today. Emotional maturity means capacity to understand and manage your own emotions while remaining aware of how your behavior affects others. How many of us were taught this? How many of us had to learn this? When I was growing up emotions were not something we discussed, felt or expressed. Emotions were seen as a weakness.

Today emotions are felt, expressed and considered normal, but yet emotional maturity is still absent. Where do we learn it? How do we learn it? Those are questions I have asked myself. The one place were I learned emotional maturity was in my dealings with my adult children. When they were young I was emotionally immature. I didn’t consider others feelings. I did not watch my words. I didn’t care to change.

However,  I had to change to have the relationships they and I needed. I had to become emotionally mature. It was not easy, but necessary. Still today I have to check my emotions. I have to be considerate in how I address situations. I have to be emotionally mature, not just for them but for myself.

This is a saying from Dr. Eric Thomas. It is said when something out of the ordinary is occurring. In today’s times I find myself saying it more and more. If you watch the news and hear about the state of the US, you can’t help but say what in the world? No matter the political party the events that are happening in the US are deplorable. It is hard to support such conditions. We are appearing to be the divided states, not the united states.

Even if you don’t watch the news, you hear and see things on social media that contribute to the division. Race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status are blaring. Families are being ripped apart, businesses are closing, gas has skyrocketed, rent is astronomical and the overall cost of living is depressing. There are more people being diagnosed with mental health conditions. It is estimated that more than one in five U.S. adults live with a mental illness. 59.3 million in 2022; 23.1% of the U.S. adult population. www.nimh.nih.gov › health › statistics

Medication is being prescribed like candy. There is a pill for this or a shot for that, sometimes at a patient’s request not necessarily because it is medically necessary. Working in the field of addiction I witness first hand how substances fix one thing, but causes another. Those things that we do to “fix ourselves” actually hurt us in the end. What in the world have we become and how do we get back to humanity?